7 Things I Learned From Watching Last Night’s Episode of The Bachelorette

bachelorette kaitlyn shawn

Well, well, well … who knew our lil’ miss Kaitlyn would reveal herself to be Whorrey McHarlot? She’s been spreading her saliva and other bodily fluids around at a record pace this season, and it’s left everyone–including us–scratching our heads. You see, Hester Prynne du Bachelorette does more than dabble in some off-camera shenanigans and has apparently let all the men believe they are going to be the one to put the lid on her Mt. Vesuvius-like hormones. Tsk…tsk…tsk… who {Read More}

10 Games to Play With Your Kids Over The Long-Ass Summer

Yep.

Well, it’s only been a couple of weeks and this summer has been so fun. And by “fun,” I mean a shit storm of AreYouFuckingKiddingMeWithThisAlready? I was right there with all of you moms with the lunchbox fatigue and all the signing of all the papers all the time. But come the hell on, now. These kids are tearing me apart already. Just in case you’re feeling it, too, I thought I’d share some ideas on games you can play {Read More}

The Importance of Throwback Thursday (and Flashback Friday)

Throwback Thursday. Who would’a thought such a thing would have had such a lasting effect? I thought for sure it was just a passing phase–a way for us to look back on when we had less wrinkles, less rolls, and didn’t have to have people take photos while standing on a stool above us as we angle our chins just so and then still put 17 different filters on that baby. I mean, that is one huge bonus of #TBT {Read More}

10 Things I Learned From Last Night’s Episode of The Bachelorette: Welcome to Weenie World

This tie DOES look great with my shirt.

Forgive my absence this season thus far but I’ve been “oot and aboot,” as our girl Kaitlyn might say. I do dig me some Kaitlyn but she’s been a bit more of a snooze than I had hoped. I did have quite a few laughs at others’ expense last night, which is what you have to do when you watch The Bachelorette. I’m sorry, but it’s absolutely mandatory that you laugh AT these people lest you think any of this {Read More}

10 Asshole Kids We All Know

Photo credit: Imgoingtoblogaboutthis.com

I’ve written about asshole kids before. I know it seems harsh but, look, kids are inherently assholey. With all their immediate gratification and constant demands, it’s just in their nature. But some kids are more assholey than others and, if you’re like me and have spent time around them volunteering in the classroom and such, you might notice a sort of pattern. You might even have one living under your roof. I know I do. But, hey, kids can change. {Read More}

In Response to the Parents Who Wrote The Insanely Demanding Birthday Invitation

"Now eat the cake just like we told you, Son."

                                                                                                                                        Image: Corbis via Mashable A friend of mine wisely sent me this {Read More}

Dear Teachers

good teacher

Behold the power of teachers. It sounds like a cheesy ad but, as everyone knows, there’s no truer sentence or sentiment. I’ve had good and bad experiences with my own over the years. My high school Psychology teacher was so enthusiastic about the subject matter, I ultimately picked that as my college major. Talk about a powerful influence! I even remember the day I was hooked on the subject. He handed out fortune cookies and asked everyone who thought their {Read More}

The Bachelor Fantasy Suite (Somewhat Snoozy) Episode: 10 Noteworthy Moments

baby meme

Monkeys and virgins and Bali, oh my! It surely won’t go down as the raciest of Fantasy Suite episodes but a few chuckles were had in our household. Below, I’ve shared 10 of my faves. Feel free to share your own! 1. Becca seemed awfully afraid of becoming Patient Zero with some sort of funky monkey virus but she forgets – she slept in the Bachelor Mansion … where STDs go to thrive. 2.The boat driver may have been the {Read More}

10 Things I Learned From Last Night’s Episode Of “The Bachelor”

the-bachelor-feb-9-10

Kelsey “My Middle Name is Delusion” Poe and Ashley “I’m Glinda The Good Witch” Fauxdashian stole the show on last night’s Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs Bachelor extravaganza. Meanwhile, in “real life,” Kelsey has petitioned the state of South Dakota to have her face put on Mount Rushmore and Sanderson Poe’s family is having his body exhumed since we all know Kels slipped some antifreeze into his morning coffee to create her “amazing” story. Below, I’ve shared 10 more things I {Read More}

The Bachelor Recap: Virgins ‘Round the Horn

Photo credit: Vulture.com

All aboard the train to Crazy Town but get your tickets and fast, as this bitch is filling up fast. Fortunately for us, the conductor changes each week, as there is enough crazy on this season to fill the Grand Canyon. Buckle up and come along for the ride, won’t you? Would You Rather… Have to listen to Jillian talk about fucking homeless people or lick her hairy ass cheeks? If you read my blog, you know I’m not easily {Read More}