It’s my son’s fifth birthday today and, since he was my first, it has really made me reflect lately on the ways my life has changed since having kids. You know you’re a parent if… The beach has gone from a place where you used to drink beer and read Us Magazine to a place where you lug more shit than a homeless person, drop a bunch of f-bombs, get lotion in your kids’ eyes, and curse the sand gods. {Read More}
I’ve been a parent now for almost five years and I’ve found that I use some of the same parenting skills over and over. I’m going to share some of mine below. Let me know if you recognize any: 1. The Denial: It ain’t just a river in Egypt. This is when you realize you’ve made a huge mistake by bringing your children somewhere totally inappropriate for them…like the time I took them to Anthropologie, and they were putting underpants {Read More}
I was going to start this blog post by saying I’m a “foodie,” but I once saw someone who considered herself a foodie go into a near freakish rage when she saw the term being misused. This is how it’s defined by Urban Dictionary: foodie: A person that spends a keen amount of attention and energy on knowing the ingredients of food, the proper preparation of food, and finds great enjoyment in top-notch ingredients and exemplary preparation. Okay, so that’s not {Read More}
The other day, my 4-year-old was in the bath, and he said something about being a superhero. Of course, I replied, “I’M the superhero!” He looked at me funny and said, “No, you’re just a mom…” Is that right, son? No superhero, huh? Just a mom, huh? It got me to thinking about how moms are superheroes in so many ways, so I thought I’d share some of them here: Invisibility: Just try to find us when someone yells out, {Read More}
Dudes — please pardon my absence lately. I’ve been hella stressed about a lotta stuff. Why this blog is going nowhere, yo. How I can exercise the fat growing out of my shoulder blades. And kindergarten. Stressing about fucking kindergarten, people! I’m a stressball by nature but, between the kindergarten roundups, the excessive paperwork, immunizations, proof of residency, and the lengthy registration process, my ass is grass. And I want to smoke some grass. And lie on some grass. Maybe {Read More}
Ahhhh, marriage. It sure is an interesting institution filled with many ups and downs. You hear about the hard work it takes to keep it going but, as people are warning you about this, you’re scanning your registry, planning engagement parties, and doing emergency slimdowns for your wedding. You have no idea what they mean until you’re actually in the thick of it. It has many wonderful facets (you hear a but coming, don’t you?), but I have found out {Read More}
It’s weird — when you become a mom, you know you’re not going to like everything your kid does and says. Kids can be little a-holes, as anyone who has ever been in line at Target when a mom decides to put her foot down on the blow pop ring knows. It’s hard, though, as you sort of want to be able to pull the strings and make them your little puppet. When you FaceTime Grandma and Grandpa, you hope {Read More}
Yeah, boys have cooties, but they’re pretty cool, too. I’ve always been a bit of a guy’s girl. Growing up, I was the only girl on an all-boy baseball team. And through college and graduate school, I had tons of guys as buddies. I’ve always appreciated the no-nonsense phone calls with only the pertinent details (what time is the party and who’s bringing the beer?) and the way disputes get resolved on the spot. There are no lingering resentments and {Read More}
I’m starting to plan my son’s fifth birthday party, which should be fun, right? Then why do I feel like I’m about to have explosive diarrhea? Before I had kids, I remember thinking this would the best part. I mean, who doesn’t love to plan a party? Then again, I grew up in the age of McDonald’s birthday parties where, if you were lucky, Ronald McDonald would show up. You’d all eat their burgers and chicken nuggets without knowing about {Read More}
Confession: my kids watch TV, and probably (read: definitely) more than they should. I live by the “I grew up that way and I’m fine” rule (cue the cuckoo clock). That being said, I hear and watch way more of their annoying shows by proxy than I want or need to, and I’ve decided that there are a few characters I loathe…as in, if they were alive, I would kick them in their androgynous nether regions. Here are my most {Read More}
Looking for a safe place to bitch, moan, and generally kvetch about your kids, spouse, boss, or life in general? I give you the Love But Blog. For so long, we've been expected to put on a happy face every day and act like everything's great, even when it's not. So I decided to create this space where we can laugh at how ridiculous life can be. Join me, won't you? 
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