10 Things I Learned From The Bachelorette Men Tell All Episode

The Bachelorette

Photo credit: Wetpaint.com Holy hog balls, folks, that was one doozie of a “Men Tell All” episode. Man scarves and faux tans abounded but they left their hoodies at home. This is a special occasion after all. Considering I like Andi about as much as I like a scorching case of athlete’s foot, I was pleasantly surprised by that two hours of TV. Kudos, ABC. Kudos. In fact, I even learned quite a bit, and below I’ve shared 10 little {Read More}

PMS Is Real (P.S. We’re Out of Wine)

glass of wine

Warning: This post is NSFM (Not Safe For Men) Yesterday, the unthinkable happened in our house. My legendarily bad PMS collided with both of my boys’ worst behavior EVER to form an epic tsunami of parenting shit. It was the perfect storm. From the beginning of the day to the end, both boys were completely off. I knew things were going to go badly when I had to put my six-year-old in timeout in the morning, as he is usually {Read More}

The Bachelorette Fantasy Suite Recap: Blame It On Iowa

bachlorette-Chris

If you drank every time Andi Dorfman said “Iowa” last night, you were completely hammered. If you drank every time she talked about how much she hates Iowa, well – you’re dead. From alcohol poisoning. Sorry ’bout that! As a Hawkeye alum, I take particular exception to this blatant disdain and condescension towards a wonderful state. Hey, lady, this isn’t Siberia. It’s fucking IOWA. Between that and her gaping mouth, her incessant need to say, “stop,” and her annoying pity {Read More}

The Happy Children

boys_yard

“Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” You hear it everyday. Of course, it has oh so many perks, which is why so many of us dive into it regardless of this statement. We’re constantly tormented by our decisions and how they affect our children. While I love talking to other moms and using everyone as sounding boards (it does take a village, after all), I often end up leaving these group chats feeling like I’m dropping the ball. {Read More}

15 Things I Learned From My Son’s First Year Of School

Jack Black School of Rock

If you’ve been reading my blog this year at all, you know kindergarten caught me more off guard than the time a bird shat down my sunglasses. Our foray into “real school” was anything but smooth but, in the end, we’re all going to be okay (I think). Here are 15 things I learned from it: 1. After buying 25 pieces of posterboard, 4 boxes of tissue, 10 containers of Clorox Wipes, 20 snacks, 50 paper bags, 40 pencils, 25 {Read More}

News Flash! Celebu-babies Are Going to Grow Up And Be Gigantic Assholes

Wait til you see what's in the middle of the cake! It's the tears of clubbed baby seals!

In case anyone was wondering whether we are raising a bunch of self-entitled marshmallows, the answer is a resounding “yes.” It hit me when I read this article about the obnoxious milennials who have decided it’s okay to bring your parents to an interview. “Hi, It’s nice to meet you. Do you like my nice, firm handshake and direct eye contact? I’ve been working on them. Oh, and this is my mom and dad.” *PUNCH* It’s hard enough for regular {Read More}

The Bachelorette Recap: Salty Mimes And A Sexually Ambiguous Pantsapreneur Take Marseilles

Andi Dorfman

Hey, ABC, this whole season of The Bachelorette is one, big bleachable moment. I am in search of those Men in Black laser guns so I can have the whole thing erased from my mental hard drive. I’d give anything to have those two hours back last night but I’d probably just watch some other super trashy show. I know I’m in the minority in this, but I can’t stand Andi. The annoying cadence of her voice and her attempt {Read More}

My Kindergarten Commencement Speech For My Son

last day of kindergarten high jump

Dear MonkeyMan (I will call you this as long as you allow), Yesterday, you “graduated” from kindergarten. I used to laugh when I’d see all the pomp and circumstance that surrounded this graduation. Of course, now that I’m in the shoes of the parent of a kindergarten graduate, I get the significance. Not only was this your foray into “real school,” but we had not prepared you for it. Now that we know that kindergarten comes with more than nap {Read More}

Stay-At-Home-Mom, Meet Working Mom (She’s a Hot Mess, Too)

Kris Jenner gif

SAHMs vs. Working Moms — what’s the dealio with that anyway? Why is one constantly pitted against the other? The truth is both are hard…so fucking hard. It’s not that we’d have it any other way, as being a mother is one of the greatest gifts life can dish out to a woman. But there is a constant conundrum. Do we lean in or hang back? Even more so, many of us don’t have the option to choose. So many {Read More}

10 Reasons Moms Love NBC’s “Parenthood”

parenthood

Ahhh, Parenthood, I want to do bad, bad things to you… If you talk to many of your mom friends, you’ll likely find that you have a common TV obsession in NBC’s Parenthood. I know I do. We all regularly clear out our tear ducts by watching the show, and I know that I have never once made it through an entire episode without bawling. I even tried to do a workout while watching it once, and quickly realized that sit-ups {Read More}