For the Kids Whose Moms Were Killed by Gun Violence

Photo Courtesy of GoFundMe

This year has been utter shit for me. Not only have I gone through an ugly divorce, but I also lost nearly all my friends in the process. If I could tell you what happened to me at the end of our marriage that sent many people scrambling, your jaw would hit the ground. But I’ve learned that people don’t react the way you expect them to—not by a long shot. At the same time, I’ve found an inner strength {Read More}

Halloween for Parents in 8 Depressing Steps

halloween penguin skunk

I f*cking love Halloween. I really do. In years past, I’ve honestly had my costume planned before my two boys. I’ve always loved it, ever since college. I’ve been Edward Scissorhands, the Unabomber (admittedly in poor taste), Flo from Progressive, David Bowie, a cowboy junkie (play on words with needles in my arms – what!?), and many, many more. To me, there’s nothing better than that moment when you think of a costume that is going to make someone laugh {Read More}

The Power of Hug-asana

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“I’m a comedy writer,” I tell myself daily. I love comedy. I love to laugh. My boys and I laugh until we cry many days. But the harsh truth of the matter is that it’s often masking the inner turmoil inside – depression has been my faithful companion for years and anxiety is simply a piece of me at this point – another appendage. Most comics struggle with addictions and depression so it’s not that surprising, but I wish I {Read More}

Empty Nest in Reverse

parents

I love my family with a passion. I know that sounds creepy but I’m not sure how else to convey it. They drive me nuts and make me happy and cause me anxiety and give me hope and all the things families do. I always wanted a big family but I love my little family (of origin and my current fam) fiercely. My parents have done everything with my brother and I in mind. I’m confident there’s not a decision {Read More}

His Life Without Me

wedding day

Yesterday was my 10-year-anniversary. Or would-be-versary, I guess, as we are separated. We aren’t officially divorced yet which I think made it sting a little bit more. We have been dragging our feet, mainly due to the fact that both of us are horrible with paperwork and we are scared of what lies ahead. I opened the day with a joke on my blog’s Facebook page about how at that very minute – 10 years prior – a river of {Read More}

Do You Suffer From PMDBS? It’s Okay, You’re Not Alone

Pretty as a cookie; smart as a cupcake

Do you suffer from high expectations for Mother’s Day, only to be disappointed year in and year out? Do you think you’ll get breakfast in bed, macaroni art, and a trip to Paris? Le sigh. I get it. I, too, suffer from Post Mother’s Day Blues Syndrome (PMDBS). Symptoms include: ridiculous standards but fuck you because I deserve this, phenomenal letdown that can only be equated to the time when your hair stylist most definitely made you look like fat {Read More}

The Corner House

house in Connecticut

I took my first foray into online dating the other day. I seriously nearly shat myself just downloading the app. It just feels so creepy but I felt like it was time. I’m not sure why I gave myself some sort of time ultimatum but apparently I had. “This is just wrong,” I thought. “Judging people on a few words and five photos. How shallow.” Before five minutes passed, I was swiping left and judging with wild abandon. “Is that {Read More}

Why I’m Not Giving Up Complaining For Lent

bad days

Shhh … do you hear that? It’s the sound of sanctimony hitting Facebook in 3, 2, 1…Lent is coming, sinners! I kid, I kid, as I still believe in religion and its rites, rituals, and practices despite my current status as a fallen away Catholic. I’m floundering a bit or, I guess you could say, sans religion. But I’m still a big believer in God and spirituality and treating others as you’d like to be treated, so that ought to count {Read More}

15 Parenting Tips You Won’t Hear at Baby Showers

Best. Invention. Ever.

You know how at baby showers you’re often asked to put down your best parenting advice for the new mom-to-be? We all put down really lame stuff like “Sleep when the baby sleeps” and “Take lots of photos!” Cut the crap, people. Let’s get real with these friends. Here are some pearls of wisdom that new parents and, in particular, moms can actually use: Do not—under any circumstance—smell your kids’ clothes to see if they are dirty, particularly if they’re {Read More}

10 Highlights from The Bachelor Premiere: The Curse of the Red Dress

Nick Viall

Nick Viall – the man who ruined The Bachelor. Can it be? Can he and his country club accent (Where do you shummer?) ruin the show that has been my guiltiest pleasure since Justin Bieber had a hairless peenie? I hope not but last night I yawned at least 20 times during the season premiere. This is usually the crown jewel of the show, with ABC parading a host of mentally unstable women before us to point and laugh. The {Read More}