In Defense Of Christmas

christmas card idea 2013

Alright, folks, you know from my Halloween post that I take holidays very seriously. Like as if it’s my job serious. And you know what? I’m damn good at my job. I excel at holidays. I don’t deny myself that extra piece of pie or extra scoop of garlic mashed or that after-after-after dinner drink because it’s a holiday, people! You have one job, and that’s to enjoy yourselves. Don’t screw it up by scrimping, griping, and being a general {Read More}

10 Toys That Should Never Be Given To Young Boys

Kinetic Sand

I’ve already mentioned that my house is where toys go to die. My boys can break anything. Anything! It’s like they find it a challenge or something. They are also masterful separators. Nothing that comes together stays together for more than five minutes. The other night, I sat down on something sharp, only to find that a pawn in the Legoland game (we had only played it once) had gotten lodged up my buttcrack. So, yeah, they’re not good with {Read More}

The Almighty Birth Story

me_finn birth

If you hang with a group of ladies long enough, the conversation often turns to our birth stories. It makes sense, as birthing a baby is no small feat … ya know, that whole pushing a watermelon through a hole the size of a pea thing. C-sections are no less gruesome, unless you think having someone take out your innards and set them on top of you is the stuff of everyday life. We tell our war stories with pride, {Read More}

9 Of the Worst Halloween Costumes For Kids

"Look, we forgot Halloween … again."

Due to my two boys being fickle, little a-holes, I found myself selling costumes on Craigslist this week, which left me scrambling for last minute costumes. I spent a good deal online because just the acronym “DIY” makes my ass twitch. What I found were a few cute ones mixed in with about a bazillion abominations, and I’ve included the worst offenders here: Walmart’s Batman Child Dress-Up Costume This costume screams, “My mother doesn’t love me.” Ot it could be {Read More}

Why “Don’t Be A Tattletale” No Longer Applies

Photo credit: Ingenesist Project

I have this strange habit of reading really depressing things that have nothing to do with me, especially when I get insomnia (which is far too often). I once got up in the middle of the night and read a bunch of stuff on a fellow blogger who had died and, sadly, decided that we would have been best friends … had she not gone and died on me. I often find myself reading random obituaries off Facebook. And sometimes {Read More}

5 Things I Wish They’d Change About Preschool

macaroni art

We’ve had our ups and downs with preschool. We started my first son in a two half-day program when he was only two, mostly because Mommy needed a break. Lo and behold, this school was in an old house in a charming area of a town near us. During the preschool orientation, candles were lit, the place looked quite clean, and Jack Johnson set the mellow mood from the CD player. I had my cup of coffee. It was fall. {Read More}

Why You Should Never Give Up On The Female Friendship

me_lori

A dear friend of mine recently informed me she was moving. Away. From me. The nerve! I kid, I kid, but there is no doubt the news hit me square in the feels, as this particular friend has done so much for me. She’s been there through thick and thin, and is someone I know I can rely on any and every second of the day. Any of you out there who has someone like this knows how good it {Read More}

I’m CE-Mother Fucking-O, Bitch!

me_blog wine

I have a confession to make, and I hate to admit this, as I don’t like to criticize other women. In fact, I’m very against all the bashing I see from women to other women on the many parenting blogs I visit. But here it is: I have been known to eye-roll when SAHMs list their occupation on Facebook as “CEO” of their household. I get that it’s supposed to be somewhat tongue in cheek but I can’t help but {Read More}

Parenting Is Like Folding a Fitted Sheet

snarkecard_fold fitted sheet

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could make light of the heavy parts of parenting. Have a good laugh at it, you know? Maybe you’ve noticed lately that I haven’t posted much. To tell you the truth, I haven’t laughed much these days. You hear it all the damn time. PARENTING IS HARD . It’s such a simple statement that holds so much weight. When we say it, we’re not complaining as {Read More}

10 Reasons Moms Love Getting Their Hair “Did” More Than Sex

steelmagnolias_hair

Ladies – we love nothing more getting their our hair done, amirite? Honestly, if it came down to choosing between a spa day and two hours a the salon, I seriously would choose the latter. Not only do you look fab afterwards but it’s just so damn relaxing. Uninterrupted time with the latest issue of People? Uh, hell yes. I had an appointment last week and, as I sat there in my reverie, I realized that this is, indeed, better {Read More}