10 Reasons Moms Love Getting Their Hair “Did” More Than Sex

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Ladies – we love nothing more getting their our hair done, amirite? Honestly, if it came down to choosing between a spa day and two hours a the salon, I seriously would choose the latter. Not only do you look fab afterwards but it’s just so damn relaxing. Uninterrupted time with the latest issue of People? Uh, hell yes. I had an appointment last week and, as I sat there in my reverie, I realized that this is, indeed, better than sex. Here are the reasons why I think you’re with me:
1. You can read a magazine, guilt-free. Whipping out your InStyle during sex is frowned upon by husbands. Touchy, touchy.
2. A neck massage from the right hair stylist will put you closer to sexual nirvana than any sex act. And don’t even try to do it to yourself at home. Sadly, hair massage masturbation never works.
3. There are no kids that could barge in at any moment (if you’re at the right salon).
4. In addition to #3, a trip to the hair salon can’t end up with you having MORE kids.
5. The only fluids exchanged while at the hair salon are water, coffee, and – if you’re smart – champagne! Cheers!
6. You don’t have to think about what your body looks like because everyone in the salon is covered in giant, black robes.
7. You look amazing when you’re done. If you look amazing after sex, you’re probably not doing it right.
8. Talking while getting your hair done is encouraged but you bring up one thing about cleaning the gutters during sex and you get the silent treatment for days. Jeesh.
9. Falling asleep at the hair salon is considered a compliment.
10. A squeal of delight at the end of your time at the hair salon is totally optional.
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