P.S. Your Kid’s An Asshole

tantrum

When someone does something wrong, my family always jokes that they’re “going on the blog.” Yeah, I guess this is a bit of a shit list. Hell, it hasn’t gotten me anywhere else in life. And lately, I’ve been getting a little too squishy with my posts. The bitch is back and I’m ready to call it like I see it, starting with a nameless, faceless asshat mom from my son’s school. They say that it takes a village to {Read More}

“The Bachelor” Recap: A Tierrable Time For All

Tierra

The show decided to mix things up a little — instead of starting with a shirtless Sean lifting weights, ABC gave us a shot of Sean’s butt while he was picking out clothes in the ample Bachelor closet. Can you imagine the guy lying on his back so he could get that shot? What do they call that, the “ball cam”? Dude, they don’t pay you enough. Sean continued on his pursuit of forcing everyone out of their comfort zones {Read More}

10 Life Moments I’d Like to Bottle

ski run

Do you guys remember when Pam and Jim got married on The Office, and they had this little secret where they would take a “pretend photo” of a moment they wanted as a keepsake from the wedding? Yeah, the show had long jumped the shark by then, but I thought it was a sweet sentiment. There are some moments that are so wonderful, yet oh-so-fleeting, and I often think to myself, I wish I could bottle that and open it {Read More}

“The Bachelor” Episode 3 Recap: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (aka The Bachelor Mansion)

Chris Harrison, Lesley, Sean Lowe

Aaand that’s a wrap, folks. What’s that, you say? I didn’t write anything? Come on — the recap from last night’s show could write itself. At least give me something of a challenge. Even as genuine and normal as Sean is proving himself to be, the ladies are doubling down on the crazy, no one’s playing with a full deck, and we are ALL in. Eh, it was a slow start, though, with the cheesy 3:15 minute¬†Guinness¬†Book of World Records {Read More}

A Tale of Unconditional Love

Mom and daughter at beach

I waffled over this post. Hemmed and hawed. I even got insomnia. The thing is, I generally like to keep this blog about the ridonkulous and funny things I see around me.I like to keep it light. It makes me happy to make others laugh. But I kept thinking that I needed to write this post for some reason. There is a general movement these days (or it seems to me, at least) towards a collective self-deprecating sense of humor {Read More}

“The Bachelor” Episode 2 Recap: Sarah Would Give Her Left Arm For the First Solo Date

Sean Lowe on the beach

You’ve figured out this season’s drinking game, right? You take a shot every time they show Sean working out and/or shirtless. You’ll be drunker than Lindsay Lohan behind the wheel about five minutes in. Last night, we knew we’d be in for something good, as Sean started giving out one-on-ones, which is when the girls start clawing each other’s eyeballs out. Sean neutralized the situation by giving out the first solo date to South Paw. No one’s going to badmouth {Read More}

Boudoir Photo Shoots: No, No, No

mom christmas pajamas

Okay, so I recently did a post about all the ridonkulous designey vagineys out there, but I’ve got something else to get off my (seriously flat) chest. What is with these boudoir photo shoots? As with the vajazzling, I have written a lot of LivingSocial deals for the boudoir photo packages. Don’t get me wrong — they are so much more fun to write than getting half off an oil change, but it always left me wondering — who is {Read More}

The Bachelor Premiere Recap: A Sex Addict, A One-Armed Chick, and a Single Dude Walk Into a Mansion

The Bachelor

Don’t ask me why, but I love The Bachelor. Like unabashed, passionate love. It makes me happy. It makes me giggle. It makes me feel like I’m normal. My husband loves it, too. He’ll shave his own eyebrows off before he’ll openly admit it, but just trust me on that one. I don’t like to examine the reasons why I love this ridonkulous show too closely, as I’m afraid I’ll find out I’m some sort of sociopath. So, for now, {Read More}

Kim Kardashian’s Kid Komplaints (Boo Freaking Hoo)

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

If you thought Jessica Simpson’s comment that she thought the baby weight would just all go away once her spawn popped out, just hold on to your granny panties, as Kim Kardashian one-upped her with her shtoopidocity. Yeah, go ahead. Look it up. Considering Jessica got prego about two weeks after she popped out baby #1, it’s safe to say that she didn’t know you could get pregnant while breastfeeding. Or pregnant while eating tuna (or is this chicken?). Either {Read More}

Vagina: The Straight Truth (or Not)

airport landing

Warning: If you are related to me in any way (including you, Inlaws), you will want to skip this post. Thank you. The Vagina. Everyday friend and occasional foe to women. Complete mystery to men. It used to be something we could joke about, calling it names like tuna taco, batcave, and bearded clam. Now you can rarely call vaginas bearded, as it’s all about no grass on the infield these days. And ya know what — people are taking {Read More}