The Bachelorette Recap:

The Bachelorette 2013

This season of The Bachelorette really snuck up on me, but that’s not to say the premiere disappointed. Oh no, in fact it was just the opposite. With the formula down now that the show is in its bazillionth season, you just have to insert the single person and the right balance of decent guys to those who have an extremely tenuous grasp on reality, and it’s onscreen magic. Did anyone notice that some of these guys were even drunker {Read More}

You Know You’re a Parent If…

someecards_beach

It’s my son’s fifth birthday today and, since he was my first, it has really made me reflect lately on the ways my life has changed since having kids. You know you’re a parent if… The beach has gone from a place where you used to drink beer and read Us Magazine to a place where you lug more shit than a homeless person, drop a bunch of f-bombs, get lotion in your kids’ eyes, and curse the sand gods. {Read More}

Ten Parenting Techniques You’ll Probably Recognize

child's hand under bathroom door

I’ve been a parent now for almost five years and I’ve found that I use some of the same parenting skills over and over. I’m going to share some of mine below. Let me know if you recognize any: 1. The Denial: It ain’t just a river in Egypt. This is when you realize you’ve made a huge mistake by bringing your children somewhere totally inappropriate for them…like the time I took them to Anthropologie, and they were putting underpants {Read More}

Are You a Foodie, an Eatie, Or None of the Above?

I was going to start this blog post by saying I’m a “foodie,” but I once saw someone who considered herself a foodie go into a near freakish rage when she saw the term being misused. This is how it’s defined by Urban Dictionary: foodie: A person that spends a keen amount of attention and energy on knowing the ingredients of food, the proper preparation of food, and finds great enjoyment in top-notch ingredients and exemplary preparation. Okay, so that’s not {Read More}

The Superhero Powers Of Your Mother

superheroes

The other day, my 4-year-old was in the bath, and he said something about being a superhero. Of course, I replied, “I’M the superhero!” He looked at me funny and said, “No, you’re just a mom…” Is that right, son? No superhero, huh? Just a mom, huh? It got me to thinking about how moms are superheroes in so many ways, so I thought I’d share some of them here: Invisibility: Just try to find us when someone yells out, {Read More}

Gotta Hide the Inner Cray-Cray: A Kindergarten Tale

dog head out the windo

Dudes — please pardon my absence lately. I’ve been hella stressed about a lotta stuff. Why this blog is going nowhere, yo. How I can exercise the fat growing out of my shoulder blades. And kindergarten. Stressing about fucking kindergarten, people! I’m a stressball by nature but, between the kindergarten roundups, the excessive paperwork, immunizations, proof of residency, and the lengthy registration process, my ass is grass. And I want to smoke some grass. And lie on some grass. Maybe {Read More}