Stages Of the Dreaded Parent Hangover

You get out of her gif Will Ferrell

Most of us parents know better than to tie one on these days, as the day after with kids just isn’t worth it. Every once in a while though, if you’re like me, you throw caution to the wind and your panties at the band (No? Just me?) and wake up with the dreaded parent hangover. This is not a hilarious movie starring dreamy Bradley Cooper but rather a real-life godforsaken shit show. Hangovers already suck giant donkey balls when {Read More}

Six Kid-Related Things That Can Kiss My Cranky Ass

honestkids juice boxes

As long as everyone’s bellyaching over the Apple iOS 7 update, I’d like to lodge a few complaints myself. There are certain things I’ve come into contact with since I’ve become a parent that, if human, I would punch hard and square in the nether region. Feel free to add your own. I’ll share mine below: HONEST KIDS JUICE BOXES: Can you please tell me what kind of sick, sadistic fuck made this juice box? What kind of voodoo do {Read More}

From Our House’s Dick-Tatorship to True Dictatorship: So Long, Choices!

Chris Tucker Hell No gif

As a pregnant mom, you get all these parenting tips. Get the baby on a schedule. Never skip a nap (you AND the baby). But one that always stuck with me was give your kids choices. Example: Son, here are two outfits you can wear to school today. Pick which one you want. Therein, he will feel that he is the one in control, while it’s really you pulling the strings, right? FUCK NO, people! What no one told me {Read More}