10 Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor This Week

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El Bachaylor. Sigh. I haven’t been able to dedicate as much time to Juanuary as I had hoped … hence this post that is striking while the iron is ice cold. But I still thought it’d be fun to share some thoughts on the ridonkulousness that is this show, so below are 10 Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor This Week: 1. Nikki is a very big dicky. Who knew? Curses to you, girlfriend, as I picked you to {Read More}

The Bachelor Episode 2 Recap: Victoria Gives Juan Pablo The Hymen Maneuver

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In the treasure trove that is The Bachelor, Victoria made sure to shine bright like a fucking crazy-ass diamond. But more on that later, as there was plenty of crazy to go around with Juan Pablo as El Bachaylorr. A new drinking game was formed — everyone will now take a shot every time Lucy shows her boobies. We’ll all be vomiting by hour two. The show began with a milqtoast  one-on-one with Clare. And, while the date was super cool {Read More}

10 Ways Being A Parent Is Like Being Jesse Pinkman

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The hubs and I are nearly done with Breaking Bad (no spoilers, please!), and we’re positively giddy about finding out the fate of the major league dick Walter White. What an absolute sh-t show. Breaking Bad makes me excited, nauseous, dizzy, sweaty, happy, sad, mad, and like I might have diarrhea. So it’s basically a lot like parenting. The more I thought about it, the more I realized there are a lot of parallels, specifically with the best TV character {Read More}

The Bachelor Premiere: The Girls Want To Eat Juan Pablo

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For those new to this blog, I do commentaries on the best guilty show ever made, The Bachelor. If you are easily offended, please stop reading here, as shit’s about to get real up in here…real offensive. Okay then… Juan Pablo…El Bachaylorr Mama likey. When I first started watching this show, I was much younger and, therefore, it was okay for me to ogle the men. I’ve now crossed over into the borderline pedophile zone and, ya know what, I’m {Read More}

It’s All In The Smile

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Something about this time of year makes me grumpy. I’m not sure why, as I’m happier than Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack leading up to Christmas. I. Freaking. Love. That. Holiday. But then New Year’s hits and — BAM — I’m cloaked in sadness. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve caught up with so many great friends recently … ones that I don’t get to see very often, and we’ve had the best of times. But in between I’m faced {Read More}