10 Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor This Week (February 25)

Juan Pablo and Andi

Wow, America HATES Juan Pablo. That guy’s going to get less post-show poontang than … well, frankly, anyone. Don’t worry, ees OK, Juan Pablo. Just kidding. It’s not fucking OK! Without further adieu, here are the 10 things I learned from watching The Bachelor this week (which is a total joke because it’s a fact that watching Juan Pablo talk automatically detracts 1,000 I.Q. points): 1. Sure, she wanted him to ask her questions. Sure, she wished he wasn’t a {Read More}

The Story of the Kindergartner and the Most Improved Hot Mess Mom

World's okayest mom meme

A friend of mine from school was over one day, and we got talking about becoming parents. “I always knew I’d be a good mom,” she said frankly. “Oh, really? Not me,” I replied. “Why do you say that?” she asked. “Because I’ve always been a hot mess for as long as I can remember. So I never assume I’ll be good at anything,” I told her. It probably sounds shocking and somewhat depressing, but it’s true. And I joke {Read More}

10 Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor This Week (Warning: Gross)

Clare talking to juan Pablo on The Bachelor

Someone needs to clear my schedule, as I clearly don’t have enough time to give The Bachelor the top status it deserves. That said, Juan Pablo runs about as deep as the snow here in San Diego, so there continues to be little to say from week to week. So here goes 10 Things I Learned From Watching The Bachelor This Week: The chemistry between Andi and Juan Pablo is agonizingly bad. It was almost as painful as that one-piece {Read More}

Alright, You Got Me, Facebook.

Facebook like button

I’m nothing if not a pawn in the game of manipulation that is the Facebook movies just released. With a consistently ambivalent relationship towards the site along with a healthy amount of disdain for Mark Zuckerberg, who is so willy nilly about whether he shows my blog posts and refuses to boost them if I use the curse words (gasp!), I was ready to snicker and sneer at MY VIDEO. Who does HE think HE is to put together a {Read More}

I Think Costco Is Trying To Kill Me

Costco gif

I may have to break up with Costco. I know, I know, if you’ve been following my blog at all, I talk a lawt about this place, even going so far as to write it a love letter. Everything from the coupons to the bulk food to the free samples makes my nether region tingle with retail glee. But, more and more, I keep having run-ins with people like this beeyatch. I’m beginning to form a theory, and let me {Read More}