News Flash! Celebu-babies Are Going to Grow Up And Be Gigantic Assholes

Wait til you see what's in the middle of the cake! It's the tears of clubbed baby seals!

In case anyone was wondering whether we are raising a bunch of self-entitled marshmallows, the answer is a resounding “yes.” It hit me when I read this article about the obnoxious milennials who have decided it’s okay to bring your parents to an interview. “Hi, It’s nice to meet you. Do you like my nice, firm handshake and direct eye contact? I’ve been working on them. Oh, and this is my mom and dad.” *PUNCH* It’s hard enough for regular {Read More}

The Bachelorette Recap: Salty Mimes And A Sexually Ambiguous Pantsapreneur Take Marseilles

Andi Dorfman

Hey, ABC, this whole season of The Bachelorette is one, big bleachable moment. I am in search of those Men in Black laser guns so I can have the whole thing erased from my mental hard drive. I’d give anything to have those two hours back last night but I’d probably just watch some other super trashy show. I know I’m in the minority in this, but I can’t stand Andi. The annoying cadence of her voice and her attempt {Read More}

My Kindergarten Commencement Speech For My Son

last day of kindergarten high jump

Dear MonkeyMan (I will call you this as long as you allow), Yesterday, you “graduated” from kindergarten. I used to laugh when I’d see all the pomp and circumstance that surrounded this graduation. Of course, now that I’m in the shoes of the parent of a kindergarten graduate, I get the significance. Not only was this your foray into “real school,” but we had not prepared you for it. Now that we know that kindergarten comes with more than nap {Read More}

Stay-At-Home-Mom, Meet Working Mom (She’s a Hot Mess, Too)

Kris Jenner gif

SAHMs vs. Working Moms — what’s the dealio with that anyway? Why is one constantly pitted against the other? The truth is both are hard…so fucking hard. It’s not that we’d have it any other way, as being a mother is one of the greatest gifts life can dish out to a woman. But there is a constant conundrum. Do we lean in or hang back? Even more so, many of us don’t have the option to choose. So many {Read More}