9 Of the Worst Halloween Costumes For Kids

Due to my two boys being fickle, little a-holes, I found myself selling costumes on Craigslist this week, which left me scrambling for last minute costumes. I spent a good deal online because just the acronym “DIY” makes my ass twitch. What I found were a few cute ones mixed in with about a bazillion abominations, and I’ve included the worst offenders here:

Walmart’s Batman Child Dress-Up Costume

"Look, we forgot Halloween … again."

“Look, we forgot Halloween … again.”

This costume screams, “My mother doesn’t love me.” Ot it could be saying, “We got carjacked and my costume was in the trunk.” Either way, this is unacceptable. Just as those who ski in jeans look like total douchebags, this costume forever brands its wearer with a giant “D”.

Boys Scarecrow Ghost Costume



For the boy who can’t decide – two lame costumes in one!

Major Flirt Costume

major flirt

Buy this if you your child has daddy issues. A future making a living on the pole is all but certain! See also: stripper with a heart of gold.

Western Diva Costume

Nothin' creepy about this one, y'all.

Nothin’ creepy about this one, y’all.

Two words: Jonbenet Ramsey

Friendly the Ghost

You've got a text from Casper: SMDH.

You’ve got a text from Casper: SMDH.

For the laziest mother*cking parents out there, here is a sheet for sale.

Ben Franklin Child Costume

ben franklin costume

For the mom who hates playdates – this costume will ensure your child will never have a friend again (and will likely never get laid). Abraham Lincoln and George Washington will also pull off this feat with ease.

Boy’s Clown Around on the Town Costume

"Wait 'til you see what I can pull out of my pocket!"

“Wait ’til you see what I can pull out of my pocket!”

After all the bad press clowns have been getting this year, this is the red headed stepchild of the Halloween costume world.

Patriotic Hero Costume

"Who wants a stupid Ninja Turtles costume anyway? Not this guy!"

“Who wants a stupid Ninja Turtles costume anyway? Not this guy!”

For those who were always convinced The Village People needed a 7th member.

Kid’s Hot Dog Costume

You'll relish this costume once you ketchup.

You’ll relish this costume once you ketchup.

Who doesn’t want everyone to see their kid as a giant weenie?

What costumes have you seen this year that have made you cringe? Sharing is caring!


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