10 Things I Learned From Last Night’s Episode of “The Bachelorette”

Chad

Let’s talk about sex, baby, and some dictators, of course. Because, well, The Bachelorette. Oh man, this season has it all. The villain who’s gotta vill. The mighty douchey underdog. And a sidekick Canadian. So much promise! But here’s what I learned from watching last night’s episode: 1. As if we couldn’t have laughed hard enough just watching Chad and Daniel grunt and groan as they lifted weights like Hans and Franz, Chad actually gave us this little gem: “I {Read More}

For the Love of the Game

Braves group

My oldest son has been playing baseball for years now, and the really special thing is we’ve managed a way to keep a few of these kids on the same team. It’s been amazing to watch them grow together and really gain an appreciation for the sport. But something really amazing happened this year. They got good. Like, really good, at a sport they love. Each of them seemed to grow in the off-season, and we were amazed to see {Read More}

10 Things I Learned From Last Night’s Episode of The Bachelor

twins from The Bachelor

As per usual, the geniuses at ABC have found a sufficient amount of borderline insane chicks to make the show entertaining despite Ben being a giant piece of milqtoast-y poo poo. I can only hope that ABC asks the real Peter Brady to come on the show so he and Ben can f*ck with the girls on who is the REAL Ben Higgins. Maybe there is no real Ben Higgins! Have you ever seen him and Peter Brady in the room {Read More}

Things The Elf on the Shelf Would Say

elf porn

It’s that time of year again. You find yourself in one of three camps as a parent: The No Elf Family (mad props, yo). The Reluctant Elf Family (forgets to move the damn thing every day; this is my camp). And the Balls-to-the-Wall Family. This post is for you ballers, as the things you do with that elf are astounding and, frankly, a little disturbing. And, you know what, if the Elf on the Shelf could talk, I think he’d have {Read More}

Goop’s “Ridiculous (and Awesome) Gifts” List: LOLz

goopd_world view exp

Gwyneth Paltrow is so much fun to hate, isn’t she? I mean, the girl runs a lifestyle blog (majorly successful, I might add) without being in touch with anyone. On Earth. At all. Well, besides, maybe Madonna. I mean, the blog is called goop. Isn’t that just precious? She and her (I’m sure fahhhhhhbulously gay … not that there’s anything wrong with that) team of goopers came up with “The Ridiculous (and Awesome) Gifts” and I, for one, would just {Read More}

20 Emojis and What They Really (Should) Mean

nerd emoji

EMOJIS. Before I downloaded them a couple of years ago, I didn’t understand what the BFD was. I mean, if I need to express my happiness, I had my trusty “;-).” See, I’m even winking at you–how very cheeky of me! Alas, I decided to see just what the big deal was and, my oh my, I’ve never looked back. I’m truly addicted. I can’t even send a text without using one or it feels incomplete. I even went to {Read More}

30 Facebook Buttons We’d Rather See Than “Dislike”

Facebook dislike

Much ado was made yesterday about the possibility of a “Dislike” button popping up on Facebook. I can tell you that many of us wish so-oo-oo-oo many other buttons would be given priority. I’ve shared 30 ideas we’d all prefer to see on Facebook more than the “dislike” button below: 1. Shut your piehole already. 2. Oh, the humblebrag again? Yawn. 3. Your food looks disgusting. 4. That’s amazeballs (NOT). 5. Stop saying “amazeballs” 6. Your mom 7. The Internet called to say, “SHUT THE {Read More}

12 Things I Learned From Last Night’s “Bachelor in Paradise”: Clare is Ancient

Cuckoo Clan

Bachelor in Paradise continues to exceed my every expectation in the Mindless TV category. Only The Walking Dead might compare in its ability to clench my butt cheeks, but zombies are a lot less scary than Clare Crawley after she’s been rejected. Shivers. Below are 12 things I took away from last night’s uber juicy episode: 1. Watching this show when you’re–ahem–39 is majorly depressing, as these folks consider Clare to be a fossil at 34. They are ready to put {Read More}

10 Asshole Kids We All Know

Photo credit: Imgoingtoblogaboutthis.com

I’ve written about asshole kids before. I know it seems harsh but, look, kids are inherently assholey. With all their immediate gratification and constant demands, it’s just in their nature. But some kids are more assholey than others and, if you’re like me and have spent time around them volunteering in the classroom and such, you might notice a sort of pattern. You might even have one living under your roof. I know I do. But, hey, kids can change. {Read More}

Dear Teachers

good teacher

Behold the power of teachers. It sounds like a cheesy ad but, as everyone knows, there’s no truer sentence or sentiment. I’ve had good and bad experiences with my own over the years. My high school Psychology teacher was so enthusiastic about the subject matter, I ultimately picked that as my college major. Talk about a powerful influence! I even remember the day I was hooked on the subject. He handed out fortune cookies and asked everyone who thought their {Read More}