The Bachelorette Takes Barcelona: Eh, Who Cares

In the words of Pink Floyd, “Is there anybody out there?” Echo, echo, echo. No one seems to be reading the Bachelorette posts this year, but that’s never stopped me before. I’ll keep this shiz to a minimum. Some random thoughts on last night’s episode:

  • Enough with the hoodies already. If I see them again, I’ll sick George Zimmerman on your ass. He HATES hoodies. Too soon?
  • When Des was describing her perfect man, did she tell ABC producers “Heavy on the beefcake, light on brains”?
  • If Drew doesn’t win Des’ heart, he’ll be fine with his job as the next Superman.
  • Desiree either has an extensive history of bucking broncos or sleeping with porn stars, as I’ve never seen anyone that bowlegged in my life.
  • Best line ever was when Michael told James he seemed like he was auditioning for Jersey Shore. Situation called — even he doesn’t believe your bullshit, James.
  • Desiree used the word “supposably”. I’d really hate her if I didn’t want to stalk her and become her bestie. Call me, girlfriend!
  • After Des said “supposably,” Kasey talked about how James was going to “counter accusate.” It’s called education, people. Get some. The more you know and all that.
  • Best excuse in Bachelorette history regarding the conversation between the two gumbas, Mikey and James — James said Mikey was self-medicating himself. See former note about education. And dude, don’t swear on your dad’s life all things considered. Cuz that’s just low.
  • Zak is a wannabe priest-turned-Oompa Loompa skinned-exhibitionist. Dude, we’ve seen all that there is to see about your body. And side note: next time you spray tan, get your armpits. Seriously, did she just give him the rose?
  • Des, every girl in America called. Please get Juan Pablo back. Mama wanted to help him when he cried afterwards. There, there now, you sexy beast.

You watching this season? What are your thoughts?

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Comments

  1. Melinda says:

    That I’m liking the hoodies better than the pink V-necks. Otherwise, snooze.

  2. Kurt says:

    I’m reading your posts, Marnie! They’re terrific. And supposably drives me insane.

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